Having a Baby In Law School

So usually I always disclaim how "I am not an expert" on any of the things I write about, I just share my experience.. well for this post. I feel like I am more than qualified based on my resume to consider myself an expert in this arena!

I managed to graduate from high school, college, & law school with a kid in tow & was “crazy” enough to decide to have another baby during law school.  So I think I have more than enough insight and expertise to share.

I want to start by saying this, having a baby in law school IS NOT for everyone! It would be a disservice to not acknowledge that everyone's SITUATION, dynamic and circumstances are different, as such, people should ALWAYS do what works for them.

However; I've been asked more than I can remember now, “what’s it’s like, if I should, & what to expect having a baby in law school” therefore, I am sharing my experience. Be it an aspiring law student, current law student who doesn’t want to wait to begin a family, and even inquisitive attorneys who sometimes ask "how I did it?!” because they just couldn't imagine adding the stress of motherhood or a baby while in law school. Here’s your answer.

Finally writing this post, almost three years post law school graduation, and two years as a practicing attorney to encourage someone else who may be on or considering the journey of law school and motherhood. 

First things first... like I said above; it is NOT for everybody. You have to know yourself and your abilities before consciously or unconsciously decide to have a baby period, & you definitely have to consider what that looks like to do so during such a rigorous course of study if you’re in law school or it’s in your sights.

If you aren’t in law school yet, & you’re still just considering applying, I will be the first to tell you IT IS HARD. Law school is like nothing I’ve ever done before. It’s long nights, it’s lots of reading, it’s lots of information to retain, it requires a ton of time, dedication, money & energy. But if you’re determined to go, determined to get a law degree; law school is doable- “What like it’s hard?!” Lol

For those in law school, you already know what the Journey to JD is like so there’s no need to even speak further about it. Solidarity.

But I will say this, even with a spouse. Even with a baby. Even with a family. Even with no money. Even with no support. You can still go to law school, have a baby, pass the bar & become a successful attorney if that is your goal.

Now back to the point of this post.

The decision to have a baby in law school. - My Case Study

For me it felt like it was only apropos. As I said before, I had a baby in high school, who followed me to college…. so why not have a baby in law school? At this point it's tradition right? OG School Momma. Haha ok, it's not that easy of a choice & definitely wasn’t the easiest journey, however I survived and you can to.

Here are a few things you should consider to determine if it’s the right thing for you.

• Timing. I think the most important aspect of this decision for me was the timing, and there weren’t many other “benefits” better than this.

When it comes to the outlay of your day, having a baby while in law school made the most sense to me. You're not on the clock from 9-5 which means just a tab bit of flexibility, & “freedom.” (I use quotation marks because let’s face it, there is no such thing as freedom in law school, that case law, those books, moot court, trial ad, law review-OWN YOU!) So you’re free “allegedly,” to create a schedule around your classes that fits YOUR school and family needs.

One of the best decisions I made, was to treat law school like a full time job. Your classes will usually fall between the hours of 8am-5pm with breaks in between. Utilizing the "free time" between classes to get work done, prepare for meetings, finish projects, etc. so that when I got home in the evening, I got a break, albeit small- before diving back into my books for the evening, was a game changer. This allowed me to truly have some semblance of balance. Also, when you’re pregnant this room in your schedule allows time for doctors appointments and “naps” when needed lol - Something you can’t take advantage of while working as an attorney full time. 

For me, this was a major factor in considering if we wanted to add a baby during or after law school. It made the most sense for us to take advantage of the flexibility I'd have in my schedule while in school, rather than having to take time off work had we waited until after law school. (Edited to add that although we “planned” this pregnancy for this very reason, God had other plans and I still had another baby my first year as a big girl attorney, a post on that will come later)

• Maternity Leave- in law school there is no such thing as maternity leave. 

You're still responsible for assignments

You're still required to stick to the attendance policy if your school has one.

You don’t get “sick” days or time off so that can be stressful. Not every pregnancy is without sickness or complications so this MUST be a major consideration.

• Health Insurance- You may not have the proper health insurance coverage which can lead to medical debt. I was covered by the insurance at my husbands job. However, we still had to come out of pocket a couple of grand for delivery :( I say delivery because, under the Affordable Care Act, prenatal care (leading up to delivery) is free for most, if not all women.

Some law schools offer a health insurance plan for students that can be rolled into your tuition. But unless you are paying for school without loans, realize this is a loan and money you’ll have to pay back so consider the expense/debt that comes along with this option.

• Childcare - I can’t think if any professional school that offers childcare, babysitting, or any similar service for their students if there is one, comment below so my readers can know :) Once the baby is born, you will have to go back to class, because again there is no maternity leave that won’t delay your graduation date. Unless your partner is a stay at home parent, or you have a live-in relative, chances are you’ll have to find care for your new baby outside the home. This is not always easy. Not only is it a challenge to find reliable caregivers, who are qualified, and will take great care of your baby I’m your absence. . For many moms, leaving their new babies in someone else’s care for 6+ hours a day leads to mental, physical, and emotional stress.

We had our baby in the final semester of my 3L year when my schedule provided much more flexibility than 1L or 2L year. I had classes only 3 days a week and had various breaks in between classes. I was able to partner with a classmate who I trusted who had an alternate schedule. Since we had classes on different days, she watched Ian on the days/times I had class until graduation. Roughly 3 months. She lived very close to campus so I would drop off Ian on my way to campus, with all his essentials. I would have to pump in between classes and would leave the milk with her on pick up for the next time he was over.

We found a system that worked for us, but it was not easy. I went to school just a couple of weeks after delivery (there was a short break in time for spring break) I lived over an hour from campus so car rides with a newborn to three month old was not always an hour. There were stops for diaper changes and feedings, and cuddling on many occasions, which made me have to adjust my schedule as to when I’d leave for class and so forth.

Thankfully we weren’t far from graduation so things weren’t too bad but this can be a huge game-changer for many in their 1L or 2L year.

• Money- Children are expensive I think the newest data out there suggest that it cost a little over $230,000 to raise a child until they are 17 years old. (This is 2020 data) The first year is usually one of the most costly. There are essential baby items you NEED: Car Seats, Basinet/Crib/ Clothing, Formula (if you are not breastfeeding- the formula for babies is EXPENSIVE) & all the other little things that babies need, they add up. So this is certainly something to consider. If you are a full-time law student chances are you do not (because you are not allowed to) have a job, and therefore you are either living off savings, family support, student loans, or a combination of these things. So the cost of having a baby should be one of the main things to account for when making this decision.

I hope that this was helpful, as I said before everyone’s situation is unique and you have to do what is best for you. My goal was to let you know what you should consider, and also, that it is POSSIBLE to do! If you end up on the wild journey of mothering and law school, feel free to contact me to chat via email or social media, I love making Law Mom Friends :)